Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Nobody's Perfect

TUHAN SUKA SEKIRANYA UMATNYA BERSYUKUR DGN APA YG ADA........

Renungkanlah sedalam-dalamnya ...................petikan dari internet

Tidak,
Jodoh tiada kaitan dengan keturunan. Hanya belum sampai masanya. Ia
bagai menanti jambatan untuk ke seberang. Kalau panjang jambatannya
jauhlah perjalanan kita. Ada orang jodohnya cepat sebab jambatannya
singkat. Usia 25 tahun rasanya belumlah terlalu lewat. Dan usia 35
tahun belum apa-apa kalau sepanjang usia itu telah digunakan untuk
membina kecemerlangan. Nyatakanlah perasaan dan keinginan anda itu
dalam doa-doa lewat sembahyang. Allah maha mendengar.


Wanita baik untuk lelaki yang baik, sebaliknya wanita jahat untuk
lelaki yang jahat. Biar lambat jodoh asalkan mendapat Mr Right dan
biar seorang diri daripada menjadi mangsa lelaki yang tidak beriman
kemudian nanti.
Memang kita mudah tersilap mentafsir kehidupan ini. Kita selalu sangka,
aku pasti bahagia kalau mendapat ini. Hakikatnya, apabila kita
benar-benar mendapat apa yang kita inginkan itu, ia juga datang bersama
masalah.


Kita selalu melihat orang memandu kereta mewah dan terdetiklah di hati
kita, bahagianya orang itu. Hakikatnya apabila kita sendiri telah
memiliki kereta mewah kita ditimpa pelbagai kerenah. Tidak mustahil
pula orang yang memandu kereta mewah (walaupun sebenarnya tak mewah)
terpaksa membayar lebih tatkala berhenti untuk membeli durian di tepi
jalan. Orang lain membeli dengan harga biasa, dia terpaksa membayar
berlipat ganda.


Ketika anda terperangkap dalam kesesakan jalan raya, motosikal
mencelah-celah hingga mampu berada jauh di hadapan. Anda pun mengeluh,
alangkah baiknya kalau aku hanya menunggang sebuah motosikal seperti
itu dan cepat sampai ke tempat yang dituju. Padahal si penunggang
motosikal mungkin sedang memikirkan bilakah dia akan memandu kereta di
tengah-tengah bandar raya.
Bukan semua yang anda sangka membahagiakan itu benar-benar membahagiakan.
Bahagianya mungkin ada tapi deritanya juga datang sama. Semua benda,
pasti ada baik buruknya.


Demikian juga perkahwinan. Ia baik sebab ia dibenarkan oleh agama,
sunnah Nabi, sebagai saluran yang betul untuk melepaskan shahwat di
samping membina sahsiah dan sebagainya, tapi ia juga buruk sebab ramai
orang yang berkahwin hidupnya semakin tidak terurus.
Ramai orang menempah neraka sebaik sahaja melangkahkan kaki ke alam
berumahtangga. Bukankah dengan ijab dan kabul selain menghalalkan
hubungan kelamin, tanggungjawab yang terpaksa dipikul juga turut
banyak? Bukankah apabila anda gagal melaksanakannya, anda membina dosa
seterusnya jambatan ke neraka?


Berapa ramaikah yang menyesali perkahwinan masing-masing padahal dahulunya
mereka bermati-matian membina janji, memupuk cinta kasih malah ada
yang sanggup berkorban apa sahaja asalkan segala impian menjadi nyata?
Jika tidak sanggup untuk bergelar isteri tidak usah berkahwin dulu.
Jika merasakan diri belum cukup ilmu untuk bergelar ibu ataupun ayah,
belajarlah dulu. Jika rasa-rasa belum bersedia untuk bersabar dengan kerenah
anak-anak, carilah dulu kesabaran itu. Jangan berkahwin dahulu sebab
kenyataannya ramai yang tidak bersedia untuk melangkah tetapi telah
melompat, akhirnya jatuh terjerumus dan tidak jumpa akar berpaut
tatkala cuba mendaki naik.


Berkahwin itu indah dan nikmat bagi yang benar-benar mengerti tuntutan-tuntutannya.
Berkahwin itu menjanjikan pahala tidak putus-putus bagi yang menjadikannya
gelanggang untuk mengukuhkan iman, mencintai Tuhan dan menjadikan
syurga sebagai matlamat. Berkahwin itu sempadan dari ketidaksempurnaan
insan kepada kesempurnaan insan - bagi yang mengetahui rahsia2nya.
Berkahwinlah anda demi Tuhan dan Nabi-Nya, bukan berkahwin kerana
perasaan dan mengikut kebiasaan. Jodoh usah terlalu dirisaukan, tiba
masanya ia akan datang menjemput, namun perlu juga anda membuka
lorong2nya agar jemputan itu mudah sampai dan tidak terhalang. "

Seorang teman pernah berpesan..
"Kadang-kadang Allah sembunyikan matahari..
Dia datangkan petir dan kilat..
kita menangis dan tertanya-tanya,
kemana hilangnya sinar..
Rupa-rupanya.. Allah nak hadiahkan kita pelangi.." "

Cinta yang disemadikan tidak mungkin layu selagi adanya imbas kembali.
Hati yang remuk kembali kukuh selagi ketenangan dikecapi.
Jiwa yang pasrah bertukar haluan selagi esok masih ada.
Parut yang lama pastikan sembuh selagi iman terselit didada...


The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
- Oscar Wilde


Education is the ability to listen to anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
- Robert Frost, poet

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Beat my depression

I don’t know if this is where I should post this. But it’s certainly not helping me feel better about myself.I’ve been thinking a lot about my life. I should right????sometimes i feel like it’s such a weird situation where i keep thinking for something which i dont really know....keep thinking for something that very very far......It’s always been kind of vague and undefined. I don’t know what to do. This is so complicated and I feel so stupid. The anxiety and depression returned. It was like the worse case of PMS ever. Little things began to really irk me, and started to spin all out of proportion. I really should just stop to think alot.

Sometimes i dont even really know why I’m crying. Ok, I do, but. I hate being alone. I hate having no-one to talk to. I hate to miss my family alot which need me to spent extra expenses to go back to my hometown. I hate not to live in our own house and develope our family together...just me and him. I hate when i dont have a privacy life.I hate to remember and thought why i accepted and agreed to live in this house before married. I hate not to have a child. I hate when i alwayz need to go for kenduri where i dont know who is the "tuan rumah". I hate that now I’ve started writing my mind has to think double hard.I hate that I had to go to the toilets wash my faces after cried and go to work tomorrow with mata bengkak.I hate not eating healthy and diet food. I hate not being slim as before. I hate when i have a lot of work. I hate that I’m writing a list of things I hate. I hate to work and keep argue with idiot and made me want to stab him with a fork. I hate to have unreasonable tears.

Too many things to hate....But I should bersyukur to have my family who really loves me...bersyukur to have this kind of life (compare with people yg lagi teruk dari aku)...bersyukur to have a great job...bersyukur to have a great husband with full with love...responsible..and patient with my weird behavior...Thanks abang for always being by my side when i need it. I love you....Your love stop me to do something stupid just to release myself from depression.

I’m really struggling when I don’t have much time for myself.
I do my best. Remind myself making only one step after another. Trying to see which points of my list create the worst pressure and finding ways to solve the problems. But one thing i always do when i stress....shopping. Its very good therapy for me.

For those who read this.....:):):) Im not a stressed person who need to have a physo and mental therapy...hahahahah.............It just something to share and the way to make me feel good.

Get married, Stay married, and Live happily ever after

I’m not sure what i intend to do with my life anymore (especially my profession-when i deeply serious to change it..there will be something happened which make me to forget to change it). I think that i’m just going to let it run its course.

Last time..when start to seriously involved with something that people call it "LOVE" and i thought If i end up getting married then i’m going to make sure its the right decision and that i am truly in love with that person. Some people said "Cinta itu Buta"..in my cases..im not so agree....For me "Cinta itu Blur/Rabun. When we are deeply in love with people..we will not see and think too much for the "side effect" which will happened and need us to face it untill our death.....errkkk......btol ker???padahal...before falling in love... we totally cant accept that....feels like whatever happened....we will not accept that thing.....do you understand what i mean???huhhh....too much talk....

Sometimes....its not so critical...its depends on us how to handle it...miserable????not really... as long as its not affect my own life...life must go on....

I feel like divorce is such a hypocritical action unless there is a very legitimate reason behind it like if your spouse turns out to be some kind of serial killer. But if you really loved that person and knew them inside and out than wouldn’t you have known that they had the potential to turn into something like that. If you really did marry a serial killer it was probably a spur of the moment decision that wasn’t even thought about....hahahahah..If happened..i think i'll become like Jeniffer Lopez in her movie "Enough".

Other decisions for divorce just because “you don’t love each other anymore” or “you can’t even stand to live with them anymore” are made lazy people who don’t want to try at anything. Marriage is hard and you have make a lot sacrifices...especially for a wife... so think twice before you make the decision....im telling you...who read this...:):):):)If you ask me now/today.....which one you preferred??single or married.........i'll choose "single"....hahahah...crazy huh......but i'll alwayzzz pray for our happiness.....

Rgds,
Suehey

Friday, August 10, 2007

Find at least one thing each day that makes me happy

Well… it’s great to find a thing that makes me happy each day, beacuse this way I feel that my life is more happier :) well, it may sound strange, but before I haven’t even realised that how much things made me happy one day :)

I haven’t written in a long while, I know...maybe for 5,7 yrs....im the one who really love to write...but very hard to find what to write..hahaha(berbelit2 ayat). From my age 13 untill 17..i have my diary and every single thing i 've done will be drop down in this diary. Then so difficult to make sure none of my frens curi2 baca....errmm...so now...no more diary. Perhaps i also dont have enough time to babysit the diary...:):):)

Actually..when i start writing, i’ll realize that there are so many things to be grateful for or happy about! It doesn’t have to be something grand, it can be as simple as being happy because of the yummy dessert you had. Or seeing the beautiful sunset. Or the refreshing juice you had...

How to find things that make me happy???Kalau weekend for sure aku buat terapi minda...takbleh shopping...window shopping pon jadi. I used to "tilik nasib" before (betol ker...masa kecik2 laa)...hehehe...with my late grandpa...when he look my hand then he said im a "boros" one...like to spend money without thinking too much...hahahah....so true huh...

But for weekdays...not so much i can do....and so difficult to find things can make me happy...klu ulat time keje..kira happy gak laa...hahahahah....so troublesome....But untill today...i dont really know whether my life is happy or not...............

But for today...im so grateful to receive an envelope from my boss..inside that...letter said i've got special increment for this mid year special promotion.....yeehaaa!!!!!so lucky huh......and my salary jump tu Q2.....i thought..this year no special promotion since our revenue is tremendously drop.....an my Acc..Ericsson declared to pull the business from my company. I know........my bossess fight this for me....Thanks guy!! And tonite i hav a special dinner wif my hubby...............just to thanks and congratulate myself.:):):):)

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Aku Tanpa Cinta-Mu

I love this song......

Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Mengapa cintaMu tak pernah hadir
Subur dalam jiwaku
Agarku tetap bahagia
Tanpa cintaku tetaplah Kau di sana
Aku tanpa cintaMu
Bagai layang-layang terputus talinya
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Masihkah ada sekelumit belas
Mengemis kasihMu Tuhan
Untukku berpaut dan bersandar
Aku di sini kan tetap terus mencuba
Untuk beroleh cintaMu
Walau ranjaunya menusuk pedih

By Mirwana & Jay Jay

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Inside My Head : Engineer Vs Teacher (Last Part)

My Personal Opinion for "Engineer"

"An engineer is someone who is trained or professionally engaged in a branch of engineering.[1] Engineers use technology, mathematics, and scientific knowledge to solve practical problems. People who work as engineers typically have an academic degree (or equivalent work experience) in one of the engineering disciplines"

This is some of the "Engineer" definition yg aku ambik dalam WIKIPEDIA....one of the encyclopedia which discuss about engineering.

Since dah 4yrs++ aku memegang title nie (actually the 1st 1.5 yrs aku kat kilang pertama aku dikira as learning curve). I cant elaborate this topic untill details since im still in junior level. Briefly explaination....for our manufacturing engineering responsibility kat sini...adalah untuk develope/maintain/improve product and manufacturing process. Aku involved dalam NPI (new product intro) and Product support..and attached ngan account Ericsson....

1st requirement...
After qualification...aku rasa 2nd thing yg kene ada pada manufacturing engineer nie adalah...luv to work under pressure/tahan kene tembak/terer tembak org balik...hahahah..

Interm of critical....Bagi aku mmg critical laa...especially bile time product transfer and NPI..semua datapack drp customer mcm BOM/ODB++/Cad Data/Assy drawing/dan sewaktu dengannyer..akan dianalyse oleh kitorang..pehtu generate process flow and then advise dekat CFT (customer focus team)....mcm mana rupa bentuk product tu..so klu ada yg tertinggal.....plg teruk klu in curcuit or functional test takleh capture and tership dekat customer time prototype...alamatnyer org yg mula2 berasap and panas bontot adalah ME. Penah jadi kat aku.......aku termiss EMA (engineeing modification advise) yg dok dalam separate doc....tp yg nie board mass pro....takde sape yg bleh capture keskippan (new vocab) process nie untill intermittent failure kat end customer TELESTRA. Org yg 1st bleh detect adalah design engineer Ericsson (even test engineer dia pon takleh capture).....time tu aku rasa cam nak resign hr tu jugak........mmg critical..........

In term of time...mmg mostly takde life laaaa....especially biler time NPI..Start dr 1st board masuk dek printer sampai abis la ko kene tunggu kat situ...kekadang sampai kol 12 mlm....penah jugak aku keje 24hrs....sampai nak pitam....klu hasbend aku..time belum kawen...mostly dia tdo kat kilang....hahahah...klu volume build tu...klu ada issue..mmg ko takbleh balik klu tak setel....klu balik gak....alamatnyer panjang berjela la email yg diorang antar cakap engineering tak support...pastu..esok bersedia la utk digasak.......klu product ramp up...yield and quality mesti kene focus..sampai mtk engineering monitoring almost everyday.....maksudnyer weekend pon ko kene masuk keje.......and evry 3 hrs..kene wat conference call ngan big boss utk report yield...mmg hampeh...

interm og workload....
takyah tulis pepanjang...kalo korang baca yg atas tu....paham2 je laaaa...tp klu pandai blehla jugak nak ulat.....plg best kilang aku nie dia takde time rehat yg dedicated...ikot suka la nak p break bila pon....nak dok kantin sehari pon takper...asal keje siap....tp klu mcm kitorang nie...aku rasa..setakat aku keje sini.....aku dok rehat time pagi ngan lunch jerr...tea break ptg manjang tak sempat.

interm of salary....
Basic mmg ok laaa.....klu fresh kilang aku nie diorg bayar 2450...oklaa..dok kat kulim jer...bukan ada tol ker jem ker.......aman damai jer pegi keje.....ot rm10/hr...klu kene stayback pon diorg bayar gak laaa...bukannyer free2 jer dok melanguk kat kilang...klu free2..takdela aku rajin nak dok..baik aku melepak kat MCD.

Bagi aku engineer nie ok la jugak...klu rajin duit pon lebat gakk.....tp sebagai pompuan melayu dikalangan lelaki yg mostlynyer chayanunalip nie....futurenye agak samar.........

So sampai skg aku dok pening lagi.................Perlukah aku menukar kerjaya??????????????
tolonggggggggggggggggggg....................................pening.........peninggggg

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Inside My Head : Engineer Vs Teacher (Part III)

My Personal Opinion for "Teachers"

I never be a teacher...so im not so sure and dont know exactly the "life as a teacher". But i used to be a home tutor when i was in my final year (cikgu tusyen...kira cikgu la jugak tu)...huhuh...quite interesting. Maybe bcoz student aku sorg jerr for every subject. My mother is a techer...headmaster kat satu skolah rendah kat terengganu..and most of my uncle and auntie infact my frens also attached with education program. So sedikit sebanyak tau ler jugak aku pasal cikgu nie.

For me...teacher is one of the good profession. From my kindergarten untill form 5...bg aku semua cikgu yg mengajar aku very sincere...thats y aku rasa zaman sekolah aku la yg paling best...tak tau la kot2 sebab aku nie budak baik and pandai n sebab tu cikgu sayang (huhuhu...perasan).

Dan bagi aku jugak...the 1st requirement to be a teacher is sincerity. Cikgu yg tak ikhlas mengajar akan melahirkan cikgu yg malas....penah gak aku ada cikgu yg malas....sebab dia malas mengajar.....kitorang jadi malas nak belajar subject dia....nasib baik la subject muzik jerr....tak masuk pekse...Cikgu yg ikhlas dan bersungguh nak mengajar...student pon akan bersungguh2 nak blajar (ini drp pengalaman aku la...tp aku nie bleh kata blajar kat skolah yg terpilih...tak tau sangat klu kat skolah biasa and problematicnyer skolah...maybe skolah2 mcm nie yg banyak problem.....the problem start from student....dapat student yg problem menyebabkan cikgu jd malas n tak ikhlas nak mengajar)...titik.

In term of workload..its depends on the school itself. Bagi aku yg penah blajar di MRSM...we never have xtra class. Belajar sendiri....abis waktu skolah..cikgu semua balik...just ada jugak cikgu yg stayback sekejap kot2 ada student yg nak jumpa utk discuss. Klu ada program pon...mostly student yg handle...cikgu tunggu kad jemputan jer...just klu ada program besar2an jer cikgu involve...mcm sambutan jubli emas MRSM pengkalan Chepa....hehehe...so bg aku workload cikgu tak berat sangat laa....melainkan memastikan student dapat capai target...Hari2 ngajar bende sama jerr....lama2 semua dlm kepala.....

In term of time....of course la cikgu ada banyak masa...cuti skolah pon dah brapa lama....sehari keje tak sampai pon 9 jam. Klu skolah ada 2 sesi lagi syok....Klu yg ada kursus tu tak tau laa..maybe abis la sket cuti skolah dorang....tp still banyak cuti lagi....pendek kata cikgula yg plg banyak cuti.

In term of salary....skg nie gaji cikgu dah banyak...even basic tak banyak mana...elaun dah belambak....klu di calculatekan by minutes/or by second....gaji diorg nie lg banyak dr engineer rasanya......ok....i dont want to discuss bout this...aku rasa semua org tau pasal gaji gomen...especially lepas kenaikan terbaru nie........

So itu jerla sedikit sebanyak pendapat aku....but the main thing nak jd cikgu nie kene ikhlas....utk dapat result yg bagus....(lg pulak org kata...klu kita ngajar anak org tak ikhlas...nanti org yg ngajar anak kita pon tak ikhlas...dan anak kita pon tak pandai......)