Saturday, October 20, 2007
Selamat Hari Raya.......
It would really be fair to say i very much happy for this hari raya eventhough at first i thought i'll not enjoyed to answer continues qs from people all over the world about my previous pregnancy...for those who still dont know about my misscarriage history...history???
Saturday, October 6, 2007
My Completed and uncomplete wish list
My Wishlist.........
1) House - completed
2) New Car (auto >1.5) - inprogress
3) Sun Glass -completed
4) New DigiCam - completed
5) Guess Watch
6) Levis jeans
7) Auction House
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Aku Gerammmmm!!!!
Hari nie mmg discourage betol aku nak buat keje. Pagi2 aku dah gaduh ngan officemate aku....officemate la even department lelain....sakit betul hati aku time tu....Nie semua pasal board NPI tu...
Pagi nie aku discuss ngan Edy, Test Engineer kitorg yg buat simulation untuk board yg fail smalam.. Edy pulak dok xplain knape board tu fail and cerite pasal dia kene bambu ngan customer pasal datapack...Tgh aku dengan tekun dengar explaination dr Edy...datang sorang mamat nie tanya aku pasal email yg aku antar smalam.....
Actually email tu aku antar kat org lain..tp disebabkan mamat tu takde..p singapore audit supplier...so boss dia pon kene back-up laaaa..........Boss nie mmg hampeh....setau aku dia nie pemalas...tp disebabkan email aku tu aku tulis URGENT!!!! and CC Bigboss dia..so maybe thats y la dia dah sampai tempat aku pepagi......
aku just nak re-confirm FAIR yg kitorang approve tu coz aku rasa something missing dekat NPI part tu...patut tak aku voice up kan bende tu????????patutla kan...drp aku terus assemble and ship dekat customer........then everybody jump kat aku bila NPI failed.
Yang mamat nie plak datang bawak FAIR sample yg kitorang approve dulu...and dok ulang..." u are the one who approve the FAIR. i see your name in the system.."eeeiii...geramnyerrr.......mmg la aku yg approve but im not the only one who approve the FAIR. The 1st person yg receive the part is SQE...and diorang mmg kene buat 100% inspection vs all the datapack send by customer.Aku klu nak ikutkan ME punyer portion tak payah tengok sume datapack tu just tengok dimensional result and buat fitting Test saja....same goes to CQE...diorg go thru semua data and approve...........ape masalahnye yg dia dok sound2 aku cakap aku yg approve FAIR tu.......
Biler aku cakap aku nak re-confirm balik coz aku rasa cam ada missing....dia plak dok cakap.."This is the FAIR that u approved...so i consider this part is OK"...bodoh bangang...kan aku dah cakap yg aku rasa cam ada missing and nak open back the FAIR......in fact im not the one who confirm the cosmetic reject..missing facia ker hape....bende tu should be detected up-front...masa ianya sampai kat tangan SQE (kat tangan mamat tu laa)..masa tu nak jer aku cakap "hey idiot...do you understand what im saying????i said i want to re-confirm..can u give me all the datapack so i can do the job....if you dont want or lazy to do it, dont block other peoples to perform the job..bastard!!!" Tapi apa yang kuar dr mulut aku
"And if u think ME is the one who should responsible for this overlook issue.......what about SQE????are they blindly approved the FAIR??who's the one who responsible for cosmetic failure????What if i assemble the part and ship and its rejected by customer...who's fault???ME only aaa????If that aaa...i dont need SQE and CQE to approve.... non value added!!"
Puas gak hati aku biler aku bleh cakap gtu......tp biler aku cakap yg aku takleh bukak drawing dalam Matrix...dia pon cakap "we are using the same system..if u cannot open...i also cannot open"....macam tu ker staff eng jawab...siut sungguh....."thats y la i send the email.....email said...i cant view the drawing...pls get supplier to send it to us for confirmation...susah sangat ker" biler aku cakap mcm tu dia lagi naik angin.....then dia cakap "tak susah...ada i cakap susah....but this is approved by you...ok...i get the buyer to check it........i'll tak to SL Loo" siut sungguh...nak jer aku belasah dia time tu......Go to hell la..dia nak jumpe boss aku (SL LOO)...pegi la..lagi senang...ingat aku takut ker??? Lepas dia blah jer....aku rasa mata aku dah bergenang....aku tahan jer sebab semua org tgk masa kitorg gaduh tu.....sebak aku rasa..plus ngan sakit hati yg amat sangat...
around 15 minute cam tu...Loo call aku masuk cubical dia.....dia tanya pasal part tu..baru jer nak cerita..air mata aku mengalir terus...aku nangis bersungguh....sebab geram yg amat..boss aku terkejut giler time tu..dia suh aku cool down and cakap slow2....aku cerita laaa....dia pon tak sangka mamat tu mcm tu...then yg Staff Eng aku pon ada bgtau yg mamat tu mmg mcm tu....dia sebenarnye tak suke buat Xtra Job....buat keje anak buah......pehtu..boss aku antar email..back-up aku...hahaha...padan muka dia.....malu gak biler ada org perasan aku nangis...lantaklaaaa...
Nie kiranya 2nd time aku gaduh n nangis (tp aku nangis sorg2 sebelum nie)...dulu aku gaduh ngan boss aku sendiri sebab dia asyik dok nampak salah aku jer(even bende tu salah org lain)...(org kata dia tak suke melayu) dia jd boss aku pon sebab ada rombakan org chart...tak tau la nape aku kene report kat dia...time tu aku dah type surat resign...tinggal nak submit jer...tup2 aku dengar he was advised to resign...2 hr lepas tu dia blah tanpa jumpe aku...aku rasa aku la org yg plg hepi skali....then aku report balik kat boss lama sampai skang.....
apepon inilah pengalaman keje...actually its depends on people to handle bende2 cenggini......tp klu mcm mamat td tu takde la menggugat kedudukan aku kat sini....he's nobody.......just aku geram giler jerrr
Pagi nie aku discuss ngan Edy, Test Engineer kitorg yg buat simulation untuk board yg fail smalam.. Edy pulak dok xplain knape board tu fail and cerite pasal dia kene bambu ngan customer pasal datapack...Tgh aku dengan tekun dengar explaination dr Edy...datang sorang mamat nie tanya aku pasal email yg aku antar smalam.....
Actually email tu aku antar kat org lain..tp disebabkan mamat tu takde..p singapore audit supplier...so boss dia pon kene back-up laaaa..........Boss nie mmg hampeh....setau aku dia nie pemalas...tp disebabkan email aku tu aku tulis URGENT!!!! and CC Bigboss dia..so maybe thats y la dia dah sampai tempat aku pepagi......
aku just nak re-confirm FAIR yg kitorang approve tu coz aku rasa something missing dekat NPI part tu...patut tak aku voice up kan bende tu????????patutla kan...drp aku terus assemble and ship dekat customer........then everybody jump kat aku bila NPI failed.
Yang mamat nie plak datang bawak FAIR sample yg kitorang approve dulu...and dok ulang..." u are the one who approve the FAIR. i see your name in the system.."eeeiii...geramnyerrr.......mmg la aku yg approve but im not the only one who approve the FAIR. The 1st person yg receive the part is SQE...and diorang mmg kene buat 100% inspection vs all the datapack send by customer.Aku klu nak ikutkan ME punyer portion tak payah tengok sume datapack tu just tengok dimensional result and buat fitting Test saja....same goes to CQE...diorg go thru semua data and approve...........ape masalahnye yg dia dok sound2 aku cakap aku yg approve FAIR tu.......
Biler aku cakap aku nak re-confirm balik coz aku rasa cam ada missing....dia plak dok cakap.."This is the FAIR that u approved...so i consider this part is OK"...bodoh bangang...kan aku dah cakap yg aku rasa cam ada missing and nak open back the FAIR......in fact im not the one who confirm the cosmetic reject..missing facia ker hape....bende tu should be detected up-front...masa ianya sampai kat tangan SQE (kat tangan mamat tu laa)..masa tu nak jer aku cakap "hey idiot...do you understand what im saying????i said i want to re-confirm..can u give me all the datapack so i can do the job....if you dont want or lazy to do it, dont block other peoples to perform the job..bastard!!!" Tapi apa yang kuar dr mulut aku
"And if u think ME is the one who should responsible for this overlook issue.......what about SQE????are they blindly approved the FAIR??who's the one who responsible for cosmetic failure????What if i assemble the part and ship and its rejected by customer...who's fault???ME only aaa????If that aaa...i dont need SQE and CQE to approve.... non value added!!"
Puas gak hati aku biler aku bleh cakap gtu......tp biler aku cakap yg aku takleh bukak drawing dalam Matrix...dia pon cakap "we are using the same system..if u cannot open...i also cannot open"....macam tu ker staff eng jawab...siut sungguh....."thats y la i send the email.....email said...i cant view the drawing...pls get supplier to send it to us for confirmation...susah sangat ker" biler aku cakap mcm tu dia lagi naik angin.....then dia cakap "tak susah...ada i cakap susah....but this is approved by you...ok...i get the buyer to check it........i'll tak to SL Loo" siut sungguh...nak jer aku belasah dia time tu......Go to hell la..dia nak jumpe boss aku (SL LOO)...pegi la..lagi senang...ingat aku takut ker??? Lepas dia blah jer....aku rasa mata aku dah bergenang....aku tahan jer sebab semua org tgk masa kitorg gaduh tu.....sebak aku rasa..plus ngan sakit hati yg amat sangat...
around 15 minute cam tu...Loo call aku masuk cubical dia.....dia tanya pasal part tu..baru jer nak cerita..air mata aku mengalir terus...aku nangis bersungguh....sebab geram yg amat..boss aku terkejut giler time tu..dia suh aku cool down and cakap slow2....aku cerita laaa....dia pon tak sangka mamat tu mcm tu...then yg Staff Eng aku pon ada bgtau yg mamat tu mmg mcm tu....dia sebenarnye tak suke buat Xtra Job....buat keje anak buah......pehtu..boss aku antar email..back-up aku...hahaha...padan muka dia.....malu gak biler ada org perasan aku nangis...lantaklaaaa...
Nie kiranya 2nd time aku gaduh n nangis (tp aku nangis sorg2 sebelum nie)...dulu aku gaduh ngan boss aku sendiri sebab dia asyik dok nampak salah aku jer(even bende tu salah org lain)...(org kata dia tak suke melayu) dia jd boss aku pon sebab ada rombakan org chart...tak tau la nape aku kene report kat dia...time tu aku dah type surat resign...tinggal nak submit jer...tup2 aku dengar he was advised to resign...2 hr lepas tu dia blah tanpa jumpe aku...aku rasa aku la org yg plg hepi skali....then aku report balik kat boss lama sampai skang.....
apepon inilah pengalaman keje...actually its depends on people to handle bende2 cenggini......tp klu mcm mamat td tu takde la menggugat kedudukan aku kat sini....he's nobody.......just aku geram giler jerrr
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Ramadhan Buffet at EQ Penang
As a pre-present for my belated birthday yesterday...Abang bring me to have "buka puasa" at EQ...waa...best giler...Actually last year pon bawak sini jugak...its OK laa since last year i cant try all the foods. I think its around 100++ type of foods here....and yg plg best "Ketam Masak Cili"...best giler....
We out from home after zohor..around 2pm....Then straight away ke Quensbay Mall. Abang kata nak tengok2 kot ada bende yg nak beli...errmm..at last satu ape pon tak beli...
Aku ajak abang ker Bukit Jambul even its almost 5pm...sempat gak la beli blouse satu and membelek2 sun glass kat situ....
Around 7..aririve at EQ..org semua dah penuh and masing2 dah start to collect the food...best...Then sambil mendengar ghazal tu aku start Q dekat Ketam masak cili....We stay untill 9.30....biler dah tak bleh nak makan lagi.....kitorang pon balik
satu jer yg aku nak comment utk EQ nie...bleh tak dewang tukar penyanyi hotel dewang tu??isshhh..aku rasa irritating betol laa...tak sedap langsung..
We out from home after zohor..around 2pm....Then straight away ke Quensbay Mall. Abang kata nak tengok2 kot ada bende yg nak beli...errmm..at last satu ape pon tak beli...
Aku ajak abang ker Bukit Jambul even its almost 5pm...sempat gak la beli blouse satu and membelek2 sun glass kat situ....
Around 7..aririve at EQ..org semua dah penuh and masing2 dah start to collect the food...best...Then sambil mendengar ghazal tu aku start Q dekat Ketam masak cili....We stay untill 9.30....biler dah tak bleh nak makan lagi.....kitorang pon balik
satu jer yg aku nak comment utk EQ nie...bleh tak dewang tukar penyanyi hotel dewang tu??isshhh..aku rasa irritating betol laa...tak sedap langsung..
Friday, September 28, 2007
Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday to myself. It is my 27th birthday. There is no special programs today, since im involved with NPI build which last minute decided to run. So hampeh....Thanks for all for my birthday Greeting especially to my hubby to be the 1st person wish me Happy Birthday. Im home around 11pm....so exhausted since im walking and babysit the boards for the whole one day....aarrghhh......
I dont talk so much at home..just take a bath and have a sleep. I heard the birthday wishes whispered thru my ears. So sweet....but i still cant open up my eyes and continue to sleep untill morning...hahahaha......:D
I dont talk so much at home..just take a bath and have a sleep. I heard the birthday wishes whispered thru my ears. So sweet....but i still cant open up my eyes and continue to sleep untill morning...hahahaha......:D
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Nobody's Perfect
TUHAN SUKA SEKIRANYA UMATNYA BERSYUKUR DGN APA YG ADA........
Renungkanlah sedalam-dalamnya ...................petikan dari internet
Tidak,
Jodoh tiada kaitan dengan keturunan. Hanya belum sampai masanya. Ia
bagai menanti jambatan untuk ke seberang. Kalau panjang jambatannya
jauhlah perjalanan kita. Ada orang jodohnya cepat sebab jambatannya
singkat. Usia 25 tahun rasanya belumlah terlalu lewat. Dan usia 35
tahun belum apa-apa kalau sepanjang usia itu telah digunakan untuk
membina kecemerlangan. Nyatakanlah perasaan dan keinginan anda itu
dalam doa-doa lewat sembahyang. Allah maha mendengar.
Wanita baik untuk lelaki yang baik, sebaliknya wanita jahat untuk
lelaki yang jahat. Biar lambat jodoh asalkan mendapat Mr Right dan
biar seorang diri daripada menjadi mangsa lelaki yang tidak beriman
kemudian nanti.
Memang kita mudah tersilap mentafsir kehidupan ini. Kita selalu sangka,
aku pasti bahagia kalau mendapat ini. Hakikatnya, apabila kita
benar-benar mendapat apa yang kita inginkan itu, ia juga datang bersama
masalah.
Kita selalu melihat orang memandu kereta mewah dan terdetiklah di hati
kita, bahagianya orang itu. Hakikatnya apabila kita sendiri telah
memiliki kereta mewah kita ditimpa pelbagai kerenah. Tidak mustahil
pula orang yang memandu kereta mewah (walaupun sebenarnya tak mewah)
terpaksa membayar lebih tatkala berhenti untuk membeli durian di tepi
jalan. Orang lain membeli dengan harga biasa, dia terpaksa membayar
berlipat ganda.
Ketika anda terperangkap dalam kesesakan jalan raya, motosikal
mencelah-celah hingga mampu berada jauh di hadapan. Anda pun mengeluh,
alangkah baiknya kalau aku hanya menunggang sebuah motosikal seperti
itu dan cepat sampai ke tempat yang dituju. Padahal si penunggang
motosikal mungkin sedang memikirkan bilakah dia akan memandu kereta di
tengah-tengah bandar raya.
Bukan semua yang anda sangka membahagiakan itu benar-benar membahagiakan.
Bahagianya mungkin ada tapi deritanya juga datang sama. Semua benda,
pasti ada baik buruknya.
Demikian juga perkahwinan. Ia baik sebab ia dibenarkan oleh agama,
sunnah Nabi, sebagai saluran yang betul untuk melepaskan shahwat di
samping membina sahsiah dan sebagainya, tapi ia juga buruk sebab ramai
orang yang berkahwin hidupnya semakin tidak terurus.
Ramai orang menempah neraka sebaik sahaja melangkahkan kaki ke alam
berumahtangga. Bukankah dengan ijab dan kabul selain menghalalkan
hubungan kelamin, tanggungjawab yang terpaksa dipikul juga turut
banyak? Bukankah apabila anda gagal melaksanakannya, anda membina dosa
seterusnya jambatan ke neraka?
Berapa ramaikah yang menyesali perkahwinan masing-masing padahal dahulunya
mereka bermati-matian membina janji, memupuk cinta kasih malah ada
yang sanggup berkorban apa sahaja asalkan segala impian menjadi nyata?
Jika tidak sanggup untuk bergelar isteri tidak usah berkahwin dulu.
Jika merasakan diri belum cukup ilmu untuk bergelar ibu ataupun ayah,
belajarlah dulu. Jika rasa-rasa belum bersedia untuk bersabar dengan kerenah
anak-anak, carilah dulu kesabaran itu. Jangan berkahwin dahulu sebab
kenyataannya ramai yang tidak bersedia untuk melangkah tetapi telah
melompat, akhirnya jatuh terjerumus dan tidak jumpa akar berpaut
tatkala cuba mendaki naik.
Berkahwin itu indah dan nikmat bagi yang benar-benar mengerti tuntutan-tuntutannya.
Berkahwin itu menjanjikan pahala tidak putus-putus bagi yang menjadikannya
gelanggang untuk mengukuhkan iman, mencintai Tuhan dan menjadikan
syurga sebagai matlamat. Berkahwin itu sempadan dari ketidaksempurnaan
insan kepada kesempurnaan insan - bagi yang mengetahui rahsia2nya.
Berkahwinlah anda demi Tuhan dan Nabi-Nya, bukan berkahwin kerana
perasaan dan mengikut kebiasaan. Jodoh usah terlalu dirisaukan, tiba
masanya ia akan datang menjemput, namun perlu juga anda membuka
lorong2nya agar jemputan itu mudah sampai dan tidak terhalang. "
Seorang teman pernah berpesan..
"Kadang-kadang Allah sembunyikan matahari..
Dia datangkan petir dan kilat..
kita menangis dan tertanya-tanya,
kemana hilangnya sinar..
Rupa-rupanya.. Allah nak hadiahkan kita pelangi.." "
Cinta yang disemadikan tidak mungkin layu selagi adanya imbas kembali.
Hati yang remuk kembali kukuh selagi ketenangan dikecapi.
Jiwa yang pasrah bertukar haluan selagi esok masih ada.
Parut yang lama pastikan sembuh selagi iman terselit didada...
The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
- Oscar Wilde
Education is the ability to listen to anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
- Robert Frost, poet
Renungkanlah sedalam-dalamnya ...................petikan dari internet
Tidak,
Jodoh tiada kaitan dengan keturunan. Hanya belum sampai masanya. Ia
bagai menanti jambatan untuk ke seberang. Kalau panjang jambatannya
jauhlah perjalanan kita. Ada orang jodohnya cepat sebab jambatannya
singkat. Usia 25 tahun rasanya belumlah terlalu lewat. Dan usia 35
tahun belum apa-apa kalau sepanjang usia itu telah digunakan untuk
membina kecemerlangan. Nyatakanlah perasaan dan keinginan anda itu
dalam doa-doa lewat sembahyang. Allah maha mendengar.
Wanita baik untuk lelaki yang baik, sebaliknya wanita jahat untuk
lelaki yang jahat. Biar lambat jodoh asalkan mendapat Mr Right dan
biar seorang diri daripada menjadi mangsa lelaki yang tidak beriman
kemudian nanti.
Memang kita mudah tersilap mentafsir kehidupan ini. Kita selalu sangka,
aku pasti bahagia kalau mendapat ini. Hakikatnya, apabila kita
benar-benar mendapat apa yang kita inginkan itu, ia juga datang bersama
masalah.
Kita selalu melihat orang memandu kereta mewah dan terdetiklah di hati
kita, bahagianya orang itu. Hakikatnya apabila kita sendiri telah
memiliki kereta mewah kita ditimpa pelbagai kerenah. Tidak mustahil
pula orang yang memandu kereta mewah (walaupun sebenarnya tak mewah)
terpaksa membayar lebih tatkala berhenti untuk membeli durian di tepi
jalan. Orang lain membeli dengan harga biasa, dia terpaksa membayar
berlipat ganda.
Ketika anda terperangkap dalam kesesakan jalan raya, motosikal
mencelah-celah hingga mampu berada jauh di hadapan. Anda pun mengeluh,
alangkah baiknya kalau aku hanya menunggang sebuah motosikal seperti
itu dan cepat sampai ke tempat yang dituju. Padahal si penunggang
motosikal mungkin sedang memikirkan bilakah dia akan memandu kereta di
tengah-tengah bandar raya.
Bukan semua yang anda sangka membahagiakan itu benar-benar membahagiakan.
Bahagianya mungkin ada tapi deritanya juga datang sama. Semua benda,
pasti ada baik buruknya.
Demikian juga perkahwinan. Ia baik sebab ia dibenarkan oleh agama,
sunnah Nabi, sebagai saluran yang betul untuk melepaskan shahwat di
samping membina sahsiah dan sebagainya, tapi ia juga buruk sebab ramai
orang yang berkahwin hidupnya semakin tidak terurus.
Ramai orang menempah neraka sebaik sahaja melangkahkan kaki ke alam
berumahtangga. Bukankah dengan ijab dan kabul selain menghalalkan
hubungan kelamin, tanggungjawab yang terpaksa dipikul juga turut
banyak? Bukankah apabila anda gagal melaksanakannya, anda membina dosa
seterusnya jambatan ke neraka?
Berapa ramaikah yang menyesali perkahwinan masing-masing padahal dahulunya
mereka bermati-matian membina janji, memupuk cinta kasih malah ada
yang sanggup berkorban apa sahaja asalkan segala impian menjadi nyata?
Jika tidak sanggup untuk bergelar isteri tidak usah berkahwin dulu.
Jika merasakan diri belum cukup ilmu untuk bergelar ibu ataupun ayah,
belajarlah dulu. Jika rasa-rasa belum bersedia untuk bersabar dengan kerenah
anak-anak, carilah dulu kesabaran itu. Jangan berkahwin dahulu sebab
kenyataannya ramai yang tidak bersedia untuk melangkah tetapi telah
melompat, akhirnya jatuh terjerumus dan tidak jumpa akar berpaut
tatkala cuba mendaki naik.
Berkahwin itu indah dan nikmat bagi yang benar-benar mengerti tuntutan-tuntutannya.
Berkahwin itu menjanjikan pahala tidak putus-putus bagi yang menjadikannya
gelanggang untuk mengukuhkan iman, mencintai Tuhan dan menjadikan
syurga sebagai matlamat. Berkahwin itu sempadan dari ketidaksempurnaan
insan kepada kesempurnaan insan - bagi yang mengetahui rahsia2nya.
Berkahwinlah anda demi Tuhan dan Nabi-Nya, bukan berkahwin kerana
perasaan dan mengikut kebiasaan. Jodoh usah terlalu dirisaukan, tiba
masanya ia akan datang menjemput, namun perlu juga anda membuka
lorong2nya agar jemputan itu mudah sampai dan tidak terhalang. "
Seorang teman pernah berpesan..
"Kadang-kadang Allah sembunyikan matahari..
Dia datangkan petir dan kilat..
kita menangis dan tertanya-tanya,
kemana hilangnya sinar..
Rupa-rupanya.. Allah nak hadiahkan kita pelangi.." "
Cinta yang disemadikan tidak mungkin layu selagi adanya imbas kembali.
Hati yang remuk kembali kukuh selagi ketenangan dikecapi.
Jiwa yang pasrah bertukar haluan selagi esok masih ada.
Parut yang lama pastikan sembuh selagi iman terselit didada...
The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
- Oscar Wilde
Education is the ability to listen to anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence.
- Robert Frost, poet
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Beat my depression
I don’t know if this is where I should post this. But it’s certainly not helping me feel better about myself.I’ve been thinking a lot about my life. I should right????sometimes i feel like it’s such a weird situation where i keep thinking for something which i dont really know....keep thinking for something that very very far......It’s always been kind of vague and undefined. I don’t know what to do. This is so complicated and I feel so stupid. The anxiety and depression returned. It was like the worse case of PMS ever. Little things began to really irk me, and started to spin all out of proportion. I really should just stop to think alot.
Sometimes i dont even really know why I’m crying. Ok, I do, but. I hate being alone. I hate having no-one to talk to. I hate to miss my family alot which need me to spent extra expenses to go back to my hometown. I hate not to live in our own house and develope our family together...just me and him. I hate when i dont have a privacy life.I hate to remember and thought why i accepted and agreed to live in this house before married. I hate not to have a child. I hate when i alwayz need to go for kenduri where i dont know who is the "tuan rumah". I hate that now I’ve started writing my mind has to think double hard.I hate that I had to go to the toilets wash my faces after cried and go to work tomorrow with mata bengkak.I hate not eating healthy and diet food. I hate not being slim as before. I hate when i have a lot of work. I hate that I’m writing a list of things I hate. I hate to work and keep argue with idiot and made me want to stab him with a fork. I hate to have unreasonable tears.
Too many things to hate....But I should bersyukur to have my family who really loves me...bersyukur to have this kind of life (compare with people yg lagi teruk dari aku)...bersyukur to have a great job...bersyukur to have a great husband with full with love...responsible..and patient with my weird behavior...Thanks abang for always being by my side when i need it. I love you....Your love stop me to do something stupid just to release myself from depression.
I’m really struggling when I don’t have much time for myself.
I do my best. Remind myself making only one step after another. Trying to see which points of my list create the worst pressure and finding ways to solve the problems. But one thing i always do when i stress....shopping. Its very good therapy for me.
For those who read this.....:):):) Im not a stressed person who need to have a physo and mental therapy...hahahahah.............It just something to share and the way to make me feel good.
Sometimes i dont even really know why I’m crying. Ok, I do, but. I hate being alone. I hate having no-one to talk to. I hate to miss my family alot which need me to spent extra expenses to go back to my hometown. I hate not to live in our own house and develope our family together...just me and him. I hate when i dont have a privacy life.I hate to remember and thought why i accepted and agreed to live in this house before married. I hate not to have a child. I hate when i alwayz need to go for kenduri where i dont know who is the "tuan rumah". I hate that now I’ve started writing my mind has to think double hard.I hate that I had to go to the toilets wash my faces after cried and go to work tomorrow with mata bengkak.I hate not eating healthy and diet food. I hate not being slim as before. I hate when i have a lot of work. I hate that I’m writing a list of things I hate. I hate to work and keep argue with idiot and made me want to stab him with a fork. I hate to have unreasonable tears.
Too many things to hate....But I should bersyukur to have my family who really loves me...bersyukur to have this kind of life (compare with people yg lagi teruk dari aku)...bersyukur to have a great job...bersyukur to have a great husband with full with love...responsible..and patient with my weird behavior...Thanks abang for always being by my side when i need it. I love you....Your love stop me to do something stupid just to release myself from depression.
I’m really struggling when I don’t have much time for myself.
I do my best. Remind myself making only one step after another. Trying to see which points of my list create the worst pressure and finding ways to solve the problems. But one thing i always do when i stress....shopping. Its very good therapy for me.
For those who read this.....:):):) Im not a stressed person who need to have a physo and mental therapy...hahahahah.............It just something to share and the way to make me feel good.
Get married, Stay married, and Live happily ever after
I’m not sure what i intend to do with my life anymore (especially my profession-when i deeply serious to change it..there will be something happened which make me to forget to change it). I think that i’m just going to let it run its course.
Last time..when start to seriously involved with something that people call it "LOVE" and i thought If i end up getting married then i’m going to make sure its the right decision and that i am truly in love with that person. Some people said "Cinta itu Buta"..in my cases..im not so agree....For me "Cinta itu Blur/Rabun. When we are deeply in love with people..we will not see and think too much for the "side effect" which will happened and need us to face it untill our death.....errkkk......btol ker???padahal...before falling in love... we totally cant accept that....feels like whatever happened....we will not accept that thing.....do you understand what i mean???huhhh....too much talk....
Sometimes....its not so critical...its depends on us how to handle it...miserable????not really... as long as its not affect my own life...life must go on....
I feel like divorce is such a hypocritical action unless there is a very legitimate reason behind it like if your spouse turns out to be some kind of serial killer. But if you really loved that person and knew them inside and out than wouldn’t you have known that they had the potential to turn into something like that. If you really did marry a serial killer it was probably a spur of the moment decision that wasn’t even thought about....hahahahah..If happened..i think i'll become like Jeniffer Lopez in her movie "Enough".
Other decisions for divorce just because “you don’t love each other anymore” or “you can’t even stand to live with them anymore” are made lazy people who don’t want to try at anything. Marriage is hard and you have make a lot sacrifices...especially for a wife... so think twice before you make the decision....im telling you...who read this...:):):):)If you ask me now/today.....which one you preferred??single or married.........i'll choose "single"....hahahah...crazy huh......but i'll alwayzzz pray for our happiness.....
Rgds,
Suehey
Last time..when start to seriously involved with something that people call it "LOVE" and i thought If i end up getting married then i’m going to make sure its the right decision and that i am truly in love with that person. Some people said "Cinta itu Buta"..in my cases..im not so agree....For me "Cinta itu Blur/Rabun. When we are deeply in love with people..we will not see and think too much for the "side effect" which will happened and need us to face it untill our death.....errkkk......btol ker???padahal...before falling in love... we totally cant accept that....feels like whatever happened....we will not accept that thing.....do you understand what i mean???huhhh....too much talk....
Sometimes....its not so critical...its depends on us how to handle it...miserable????not really... as long as its not affect my own life...life must go on....
I feel like divorce is such a hypocritical action unless there is a very legitimate reason behind it like if your spouse turns out to be some kind of serial killer. But if you really loved that person and knew them inside and out than wouldn’t you have known that they had the potential to turn into something like that. If you really did marry a serial killer it was probably a spur of the moment decision that wasn’t even thought about....hahahahah..If happened..i think i'll become like Jeniffer Lopez in her movie "Enough".
Other decisions for divorce just because “you don’t love each other anymore” or “you can’t even stand to live with them anymore” are made lazy people who don’t want to try at anything. Marriage is hard and you have make a lot sacrifices...especially for a wife... so think twice before you make the decision....im telling you...who read this...:):):):)If you ask me now/today.....which one you preferred??single or married.........i'll choose "single"....hahahah...crazy huh......but i'll alwayzzz pray for our happiness.....
Rgds,
Suehey
Friday, August 10, 2007
Find at least one thing each day that makes me happy
Well… it’s great to find a thing that makes me happy each day, beacuse this way I feel that my life is more happier :) well, it may sound strange, but before I haven’t even realised that how much things made me happy one day :)
I haven’t written in a long while, I know...maybe for 5,7 yrs....im the one who really love to write...but very hard to find what to write..hahaha(berbelit2 ayat). From my age 13 untill 17..i have my diary and every single thing i 've done will be drop down in this diary. Then so difficult to make sure none of my frens curi2 baca....errmm...so now...no more diary. Perhaps i also dont have enough time to babysit the diary...:):):)
Actually..when i start writing, i’ll realize that there are so many things to be grateful for or happy about! It doesn’t have to be something grand, it can be as simple as being happy because of the yummy dessert you had. Or seeing the beautiful sunset. Or the refreshing juice you had...
How to find things that make me happy???Kalau weekend for sure aku buat terapi minda...takbleh shopping...window shopping pon jadi. I used to "tilik nasib" before (betol ker...masa kecik2 laa)...hehehe...with my late grandpa...when he look my hand then he said im a "boros" one...like to spend money without thinking too much...hahahah....so true huh...
But for weekdays...not so much i can do....and so difficult to find things can make me happy...klu ulat time keje..kira happy gak laa...hahahahah....so troublesome....But untill today...i dont really know whether my life is happy or not...............
But for today...im so grateful to receive an envelope from my boss..inside that...letter said i've got special increment for this mid year special promotion.....yeehaaa!!!!!so lucky huh......and my salary jump tu Q2.....i thought..this year no special promotion since our revenue is tremendously drop.....an my Acc..Ericsson declared to pull the business from my company. I know........my bossess fight this for me....Thanks guy!! And tonite i hav a special dinner wif my hubby...............just to thanks and congratulate myself.:):):):)
I haven’t written in a long while, I know...maybe for 5,7 yrs....im the one who really love to write...but very hard to find what to write..hahaha(berbelit2 ayat). From my age 13 untill 17..i have my diary and every single thing i 've done will be drop down in this diary. Then so difficult to make sure none of my frens curi2 baca....errmm...so now...no more diary. Perhaps i also dont have enough time to babysit the diary...:):):)
Actually..when i start writing, i’ll realize that there are so many things to be grateful for or happy about! It doesn’t have to be something grand, it can be as simple as being happy because of the yummy dessert you had. Or seeing the beautiful sunset. Or the refreshing juice you had...
How to find things that make me happy???Kalau weekend for sure aku buat terapi minda...takbleh shopping...window shopping pon jadi. I used to "tilik nasib" before (betol ker...masa kecik2 laa)...hehehe...with my late grandpa...when he look my hand then he said im a "boros" one...like to spend money without thinking too much...hahahah....so true huh...
But for weekdays...not so much i can do....and so difficult to find things can make me happy...klu ulat time keje..kira happy gak laa...hahahahah....so troublesome....But untill today...i dont really know whether my life is happy or not...............
But for today...im so grateful to receive an envelope from my boss..inside that...letter said i've got special increment for this mid year special promotion.....yeehaaa!!!!!so lucky huh......and my salary jump tu Q2.....i thought..this year no special promotion since our revenue is tremendously drop.....an my Acc..Ericsson declared to pull the business from my company. I know........my bossess fight this for me....Thanks guy!! And tonite i hav a special dinner wif my hubby...............just to thanks and congratulate myself.:):):):)
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Aku Tanpa Cinta-Mu
I love this song......
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Mengapa cintaMu tak pernah hadir
Subur dalam jiwaku
Agarku tetap bahagia
Tanpa cintaku tetaplah Kau di sana
Aku tanpa cintaMu
Bagai layang-layang terputus talinya
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Masihkah ada sekelumit belas
Mengemis kasihMu Tuhan
Untukku berpaut dan bersandar
Aku di sini kan tetap terus mencuba
Untuk beroleh cintaMu
Walau ranjaunya menusuk pedih
By Mirwana & Jay Jay
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Mengapa cintaMu tak pernah hadir
Subur dalam jiwaku
Agarku tetap bahagia
Tanpa cintaku tetaplah Kau di sana
Aku tanpa cintaMu
Bagai layang-layang terputus talinya
Telah ku mungkiri janjiku lagi
Walau seribu kali
Ku ulang sendiri
Aku takkan tempuh lagi
Apakah kau terima cintaku lagi
Setelah ku berpaling
Dari pandanganMu
Yang kabur kerna jahilnya aku
Masihkah ada sekelumit belas
Mengemis kasihMu Tuhan
Untukku berpaut dan bersandar
Aku di sini kan tetap terus mencuba
Untuk beroleh cintaMu
Walau ranjaunya menusuk pedih
By Mirwana & Jay Jay
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Inside My Head : Engineer Vs Teacher (Last Part)
My Personal Opinion for "Engineer"
"An engineer is someone who is trained or professionally engaged in a branch of engineering.[1] Engineers use technology, mathematics, and scientific knowledge to solve practical problems. People who work as engineers typically have an academic degree (or equivalent work experience) in one of the engineering disciplines"
This is some of the "Engineer" definition yg aku ambik dalam WIKIPEDIA....one of the encyclopedia which discuss about engineering.
Since dah 4yrs++ aku memegang title nie (actually the 1st 1.5 yrs aku kat kilang pertama aku dikira as learning curve). I cant elaborate this topic untill details since im still in junior level. Briefly explaination....for our manufacturing engineering responsibility kat sini...adalah untuk develope/maintain/improve product and manufacturing process. Aku involved dalam NPI (new product intro) and Product support..and attached ngan account Ericsson....
1st requirement...
After qualification...aku rasa 2nd thing yg kene ada pada manufacturing engineer nie adalah...luv to work under pressure/tahan kene tembak/terer tembak org balik...hahahah..
Interm of critical....Bagi aku mmg critical laa...especially bile time product transfer and NPI..semua datapack drp customer mcm BOM/ODB++/Cad Data/Assy drawing/dan sewaktu dengannyer..akan dianalyse oleh kitorang..pehtu generate process flow and then advise dekat CFT (customer focus team)....mcm mana rupa bentuk product tu..so klu ada yg tertinggal.....plg teruk klu in curcuit or functional test takleh capture and tership dekat customer time prototype...alamatnyer org yg mula2 berasap and panas bontot adalah ME. Penah jadi kat aku.......aku termiss EMA (engineeing modification advise) yg dok dalam separate doc....tp yg nie board mass pro....takde sape yg bleh capture keskippan (new vocab) process nie untill intermittent failure kat end customer TELESTRA. Org yg 1st bleh detect adalah design engineer Ericsson (even test engineer dia pon takleh capture).....time tu aku rasa cam nak resign hr tu jugak........mmg critical..........
In term of time...mmg mostly takde life laaaa....especially biler time NPI..Start dr 1st board masuk dek printer sampai abis la ko kene tunggu kat situ...kekadang sampai kol 12 mlm....penah jugak aku keje 24hrs....sampai nak pitam....klu hasbend aku..time belum kawen...mostly dia tdo kat kilang....hahahah...klu volume build tu...klu ada issue..mmg ko takbleh balik klu tak setel....klu balik gak....alamatnyer panjang berjela la email yg diorang antar cakap engineering tak support...pastu..esok bersedia la utk digasak.......klu product ramp up...yield and quality mesti kene focus..sampai mtk engineering monitoring almost everyday.....maksudnyer weekend pon ko kene masuk keje.......and evry 3 hrs..kene wat conference call ngan big boss utk report yield...mmg hampeh...
interm og workload....
takyah tulis pepanjang...kalo korang baca yg atas tu....paham2 je laaaa...tp klu pandai blehla jugak nak ulat.....plg best kilang aku nie dia takde time rehat yg dedicated...ikot suka la nak p break bila pon....nak dok kantin sehari pon takper...asal keje siap....tp klu mcm kitorang nie...aku rasa..setakat aku keje sini.....aku dok rehat time pagi ngan lunch jerr...tea break ptg manjang tak sempat.
interm of salary....
Basic mmg ok laaa.....klu fresh kilang aku nie diorg bayar 2450...oklaa..dok kat kulim jer...bukan ada tol ker jem ker.......aman damai jer pegi keje.....ot rm10/hr...klu kene stayback pon diorg bayar gak laaa...bukannyer free2 jer dok melanguk kat kilang...klu free2..takdela aku rajin nak dok..baik aku melepak kat MCD.
Bagi aku engineer nie ok la jugak...klu rajin duit pon lebat gakk.....tp sebagai pompuan melayu dikalangan lelaki yg mostlynyer chayanunalip nie....futurenye agak samar.........
So sampai skg aku dok pening lagi.................Perlukah aku menukar kerjaya??????????????
tolonggggggggggggggggggg....................................pening.........peninggggg
"An engineer is someone who is trained or professionally engaged in a branch of engineering.[1] Engineers use technology, mathematics, and scientific knowledge to solve practical problems. People who work as engineers typically have an academic degree (or equivalent work experience) in one of the engineering disciplines"
This is some of the "Engineer" definition yg aku ambik dalam WIKIPEDIA....one of the encyclopedia which discuss about engineering.
Since dah 4yrs++ aku memegang title nie (actually the 1st 1.5 yrs aku kat kilang pertama aku dikira as learning curve). I cant elaborate this topic untill details since im still in junior level. Briefly explaination....for our manufacturing engineering responsibility kat sini...adalah untuk develope/maintain/improve product and manufacturing process. Aku involved dalam NPI (new product intro) and Product support..and attached ngan account Ericsson....
1st requirement...
After qualification...aku rasa 2nd thing yg kene ada pada manufacturing engineer nie adalah...luv to work under pressure/tahan kene tembak/terer tembak org balik...hahahah..
Interm of critical....Bagi aku mmg critical laa...especially bile time product transfer and NPI..semua datapack drp customer mcm BOM/ODB++/Cad Data/Assy drawing/dan sewaktu dengannyer..akan dianalyse oleh kitorang..pehtu generate process flow and then advise dekat CFT (customer focus team)....mcm mana rupa bentuk product tu..so klu ada yg tertinggal.....plg teruk klu in curcuit or functional test takleh capture and tership dekat customer time prototype...alamatnyer org yg mula2 berasap and panas bontot adalah ME. Penah jadi kat aku.......aku termiss EMA (engineeing modification advise) yg dok dalam separate doc....tp yg nie board mass pro....takde sape yg bleh capture keskippan (new vocab) process nie untill intermittent failure kat end customer TELESTRA. Org yg 1st bleh detect adalah design engineer Ericsson (even test engineer dia pon takleh capture).....time tu aku rasa cam nak resign hr tu jugak........mmg critical..........
In term of time...mmg mostly takde life laaaa....especially biler time NPI..Start dr 1st board masuk dek printer sampai abis la ko kene tunggu kat situ...kekadang sampai kol 12 mlm....penah jugak aku keje 24hrs....sampai nak pitam....klu hasbend aku..time belum kawen...mostly dia tdo kat kilang....hahahah...klu volume build tu...klu ada issue..mmg ko takbleh balik klu tak setel....klu balik gak....alamatnyer panjang berjela la email yg diorang antar cakap engineering tak support...pastu..esok bersedia la utk digasak.......klu product ramp up...yield and quality mesti kene focus..sampai mtk engineering monitoring almost everyday.....maksudnyer weekend pon ko kene masuk keje.......and evry 3 hrs..kene wat conference call ngan big boss utk report yield...mmg hampeh...
interm og workload....
takyah tulis pepanjang...kalo korang baca yg atas tu....paham2 je laaaa...tp klu pandai blehla jugak nak ulat.....plg best kilang aku nie dia takde time rehat yg dedicated...ikot suka la nak p break bila pon....nak dok kantin sehari pon takper...asal keje siap....tp klu mcm kitorang nie...aku rasa..setakat aku keje sini.....aku dok rehat time pagi ngan lunch jerr...tea break ptg manjang tak sempat.
interm of salary....
Basic mmg ok laaa.....klu fresh kilang aku nie diorg bayar 2450...oklaa..dok kat kulim jer...bukan ada tol ker jem ker.......aman damai jer pegi keje.....ot rm10/hr...klu kene stayback pon diorg bayar gak laaa...bukannyer free2 jer dok melanguk kat kilang...klu free2..takdela aku rajin nak dok..baik aku melepak kat MCD.
Bagi aku engineer nie ok la jugak...klu rajin duit pon lebat gakk.....tp sebagai pompuan melayu dikalangan lelaki yg mostlynyer chayanunalip nie....futurenye agak samar.........
So sampai skg aku dok pening lagi.................Perlukah aku menukar kerjaya??????????????
tolonggggggggggggggggggg....................................pening.........peninggggg
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Inside My Head : Engineer Vs Teacher (Part III)
My Personal Opinion for "Teachers"
I never be a teacher...so im not so sure and dont know exactly the "life as a teacher". But i used to be a home tutor when i was in my final year (cikgu tusyen...kira cikgu la jugak tu)...huhuh...quite interesting. Maybe bcoz student aku sorg jerr for every subject. My mother is a techer...headmaster kat satu skolah rendah kat terengganu..and most of my uncle and auntie infact my frens also attached with education program. So sedikit sebanyak tau ler jugak aku pasal cikgu nie.
For me...teacher is one of the good profession. From my kindergarten untill form 5...bg aku semua cikgu yg mengajar aku very sincere...thats y aku rasa zaman sekolah aku la yg paling best...tak tau la kot2 sebab aku nie budak baik and pandai n sebab tu cikgu sayang (huhuhu...perasan).
Dan bagi aku jugak...the 1st requirement to be a teacher is sincerity. Cikgu yg tak ikhlas mengajar akan melahirkan cikgu yg malas....penah gak aku ada cikgu yg malas....sebab dia malas mengajar.....kitorang jadi malas nak belajar subject dia....nasib baik la subject muzik jerr....tak masuk pekse...Cikgu yg ikhlas dan bersungguh nak mengajar...student pon akan bersungguh2 nak blajar (ini drp pengalaman aku la...tp aku nie bleh kata blajar kat skolah yg terpilih...tak tau sangat klu kat skolah biasa and problematicnyer skolah...maybe skolah2 mcm nie yg banyak problem.....the problem start from student....dapat student yg problem menyebabkan cikgu jd malas n tak ikhlas nak mengajar)...titik.
In term of workload..its depends on the school itself. Bagi aku yg penah blajar di MRSM...we never have xtra class. Belajar sendiri....abis waktu skolah..cikgu semua balik...just ada jugak cikgu yg stayback sekejap kot2 ada student yg nak jumpa utk discuss. Klu ada program pon...mostly student yg handle...cikgu tunggu kad jemputan jer...just klu ada program besar2an jer cikgu involve...mcm sambutan jubli emas MRSM pengkalan Chepa....hehehe...so bg aku workload cikgu tak berat sangat laa....melainkan memastikan student dapat capai target...Hari2 ngajar bende sama jerr....lama2 semua dlm kepala.....
In term of time....of course la cikgu ada banyak masa...cuti skolah pon dah brapa lama....sehari keje tak sampai pon 9 jam. Klu skolah ada 2 sesi lagi syok....Klu yg ada kursus tu tak tau laa..maybe abis la sket cuti skolah dorang....tp still banyak cuti lagi....pendek kata cikgula yg plg banyak cuti.
In term of salary....skg nie gaji cikgu dah banyak...even basic tak banyak mana...elaun dah belambak....klu di calculatekan by minutes/or by second....gaji diorg nie lg banyak dr engineer rasanya......ok....i dont want to discuss bout this...aku rasa semua org tau pasal gaji gomen...especially lepas kenaikan terbaru nie........
So itu jerla sedikit sebanyak pendapat aku....but the main thing nak jd cikgu nie kene ikhlas....utk dapat result yg bagus....(lg pulak org kata...klu kita ngajar anak org tak ikhlas...nanti org yg ngajar anak kita pon tak ikhlas...dan anak kita pon tak pandai......)
I never be a teacher...so im not so sure and dont know exactly the "life as a teacher". But i used to be a home tutor when i was in my final year (cikgu tusyen...kira cikgu la jugak tu)...huhuh...quite interesting. Maybe bcoz student aku sorg jerr for every subject. My mother is a techer...headmaster kat satu skolah rendah kat terengganu..and most of my uncle and auntie infact my frens also attached with education program. So sedikit sebanyak tau ler jugak aku pasal cikgu nie.
For me...teacher is one of the good profession. From my kindergarten untill form 5...bg aku semua cikgu yg mengajar aku very sincere...thats y aku rasa zaman sekolah aku la yg paling best...tak tau la kot2 sebab aku nie budak baik and pandai n sebab tu cikgu sayang (huhuhu...perasan).
Dan bagi aku jugak...the 1st requirement to be a teacher is sincerity. Cikgu yg tak ikhlas mengajar akan melahirkan cikgu yg malas....penah gak aku ada cikgu yg malas....sebab dia malas mengajar.....kitorang jadi malas nak belajar subject dia....nasib baik la subject muzik jerr....tak masuk pekse...Cikgu yg ikhlas dan bersungguh nak mengajar...student pon akan bersungguh2 nak blajar (ini drp pengalaman aku la...tp aku nie bleh kata blajar kat skolah yg terpilih...tak tau sangat klu kat skolah biasa and problematicnyer skolah...maybe skolah2 mcm nie yg banyak problem.....the problem start from student....dapat student yg problem menyebabkan cikgu jd malas n tak ikhlas nak mengajar)...titik.
In term of workload..its depends on the school itself. Bagi aku yg penah blajar di MRSM...we never have xtra class. Belajar sendiri....abis waktu skolah..cikgu semua balik...just ada jugak cikgu yg stayback sekejap kot2 ada student yg nak jumpa utk discuss. Klu ada program pon...mostly student yg handle...cikgu tunggu kad jemputan jer...just klu ada program besar2an jer cikgu involve...mcm sambutan jubli emas MRSM pengkalan Chepa....hehehe...so bg aku workload cikgu tak berat sangat laa....melainkan memastikan student dapat capai target...Hari2 ngajar bende sama jerr....lama2 semua dlm kepala.....
In term of time....of course la cikgu ada banyak masa...cuti skolah pon dah brapa lama....sehari keje tak sampai pon 9 jam. Klu skolah ada 2 sesi lagi syok....Klu yg ada kursus tu tak tau laa..maybe abis la sket cuti skolah dorang....tp still banyak cuti lagi....pendek kata cikgula yg plg banyak cuti.
In term of salary....skg nie gaji cikgu dah banyak...even basic tak banyak mana...elaun dah belambak....klu di calculatekan by minutes/or by second....gaji diorg nie lg banyak dr engineer rasanya......ok....i dont want to discuss bout this...aku rasa semua org tau pasal gaji gomen...especially lepas kenaikan terbaru nie........
So itu jerla sedikit sebanyak pendapat aku....but the main thing nak jd cikgu nie kene ikhlas....utk dapat result yg bagus....(lg pulak org kata...klu kita ngajar anak org tak ikhlas...nanti org yg ngajar anak kita pon tak ikhlas...dan anak kita pon tak pandai......)
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Inside My Head : Engineer Vs Teacher (Part II)
My History....
I never thought....one day i'll be an engineer. Dari kecik sampai my age 18yrs old my ambition is to be a doctor (fuhhh...tingginyer cita2)...tak pnah tepk pon pasal engineer2 nih....lg pulak..aku tak minat langsung ngan physic...bg aku physic susah....tp aku minat giler Add Math/Maths...and result add maths aku pon bleh tahan laa.....org kata klu terer add maths..akan terer physic..nampaknyer teory org tu silap laa......hahahaha...
Dengan result matriculation yg tak excellent..so tak layak la aku nak jd doctor.....so i decide not to involve with biology anymore.....i changed from biology to physic...choose engineering...chemical engineering (majoring in oil and gas....tu pon sebab aku minat gak la ngan kimia....matric aku kimia aku dapat A..:):)..)...After Graduation..i've called by Petronas for interview.....failed...so i've turn from Oil and gas to Eletronic..so that's why im Engineer in Electronic Manufacturing Company.....hahahha....actually takdela involve ngan electronic sangat keje aku nie.....aku banyak involve ngan process..develope process for New Product Introduction........
Im not suprised to know so many people change their carreer in the mid of life with thousand of reason. And...the famous profession to choose is Teacher. Why????Maybe...
1)there's a program for graduate student from any course (KPLI)...so senang nak apply (apply jerlaa...nak dapat tu susah gak)
2)Time consume - working hrs for teachers is very convenience (compared with engineer...normal working hrs 10 to 12 hrs) ..so agak tak sesueeiiii utk yg dah ada family dan anak2 (for woman)
3) salary pon bleh tahan..........silap2 lagi mahal dr engineer (klu calculate by hrs laa..hahah)
4)banyak choice utk working base (yelaaa....satu daerah tu blambak skolah yg ada)
5)ramai pompuan...huhuhuu...(senang nak bergossip)
6)maybe diorg pon cam aku....tak confident dengan diri sendiri.....to retire as an engineer (as far as i know dekat 3 kilang aku keje..tak jumpa lagi engineer yg umo 32 above
7)Dah ada rutin kerja hari2.....so takyah pk hr nie nak kene buat apa....urgent meeting apa yg nak kene handle...nak push sape plak utk close AR....quality issue apa plak nak jd
8)Nobody will disturb u from 12am to 7am.......bleh tdo lena....
This is a brief reason yg aku rasa laaa....and mostly for engineer in EMS and MNC company...im not talking for those yg keje dekat petronas ker...shell ker...
to be continue....
I never thought....one day i'll be an engineer. Dari kecik sampai my age 18yrs old my ambition is to be a doctor (fuhhh...tingginyer cita2)...tak pnah tepk pon pasal engineer2 nih....lg pulak..aku tak minat langsung ngan physic...bg aku physic susah....tp aku minat giler Add Math/Maths...and result add maths aku pon bleh tahan laa.....org kata klu terer add maths..akan terer physic..nampaknyer teory org tu silap laa......hahahaha...
Dengan result matriculation yg tak excellent..so tak layak la aku nak jd doctor.....so i decide not to involve with biology anymore.....i changed from biology to physic...choose engineering...chemical engineering (majoring in oil and gas....tu pon sebab aku minat gak la ngan kimia....matric aku kimia aku dapat A..:):)..)...After Graduation..i've called by Petronas for interview.....failed...so i've turn from Oil and gas to Eletronic..so that's why im Engineer in Electronic Manufacturing Company.....hahahha....actually takdela involve ngan electronic sangat keje aku nie.....aku banyak involve ngan process..develope process for New Product Introduction........
Im not suprised to know so many people change their carreer in the mid of life with thousand of reason. And...the famous profession to choose is Teacher. Why????Maybe...
1)there's a program for graduate student from any course (KPLI)...so senang nak apply (apply jerlaa...nak dapat tu susah gak)
2)Time consume - working hrs for teachers is very convenience (compared with engineer...normal working hrs 10 to 12 hrs) ..so agak tak sesueeiiii utk yg dah ada family dan anak2 (for woman)
3) salary pon bleh tahan..........silap2 lagi mahal dr engineer (klu calculate by hrs laa..hahah)
4)banyak choice utk working base (yelaaa....satu daerah tu blambak skolah yg ada)
5)ramai pompuan...huhuhuu...(senang nak bergossip)
6)maybe diorg pon cam aku....tak confident dengan diri sendiri.....to retire as an engineer (as far as i know dekat 3 kilang aku keje..tak jumpa lagi engineer yg umo 32 above
7)Dah ada rutin kerja hari2.....so takyah pk hr nie nak kene buat apa....urgent meeting apa yg nak kene handle...nak push sape plak utk close AR....quality issue apa plak nak jd
8)Nobody will disturb u from 12am to 7am.......bleh tdo lena....
This is a brief reason yg aku rasa laaa....and mostly for engineer in EMS and MNC company...im not talking for those yg keje dekat petronas ker...shell ker...
to be continue....
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Inside My Head : Engineer Vs Teacher
Actually banyak bende yg aku nak tulis berkenaan dengan tajuk kat atas tu....i can say, its one of the self conflict that i faced from the past 2 yrs...but its not so critical. Just sometimes feels like im in the wrong way...so negative thought....hahaha
Dulu..penah cikgu add math aku cakap...."why you are not believe in yourself??i believe in you...you should believe its more"..nie bile aku ckp kat dia aku tak confident nak dapat distinction dlm Add Maths..but well...aku sucsess jgk and got A2. Today...its happened again..im not believe in myself...dont think can retire as an engineer...the worst is..thought im not born to be an engineer...is it true??? Ermm......sometimes we DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING WHO WE ARE. Don't apologize for being smart, being strong, for looking like you look, thinking what you think, feeling how you feel. Don't waste our time worrying about what other people say or do. Just be strong, and be the woman we're meant to be.
Well.....aku rasa its better for me ...to explain what is the actual problem i faced. By refer to the profile...im 27 yrs...married and now working as Manufacturing Engineer kat salah sebuah Multinational Company kat Kulim Hi-Tech Park. dah 4 yrs++ aku keje dlm bidang nie and dah 3 kilang aku keje and kat sini la yg plg lama...2yrs++...Gaji pon ok laaa....agak mewah...but Its not easy to be a woman engineer especially bila directly involved dengan product and production (yield and quality laa)..Aku rasa requirement dia ...tahan kene maki.....and luv to work under pressure...hahaha...1st day aku report duty kat situ..i've told that im the only women work as manufacturing engineer and will work together with another 20++ man engineer and around 30++ technician which also a guy. Errkk..masa tu aku dah rasa takut...rasa cam pasni aku mesti kene buli...!st time aku jumpe engineering manager..the last sentence he said before release aku " here..you need to work as others....no skin..no race..no genders..everybody must give fully support with full capacity....you must proof to others that you can do it...you are the only girl"fuhh...kecut perut aku...high expectation......
Ok...let move...after 2yrs++ (total 4yrs++) aku dah mula rasa aku tak sesuai jd engineer...yelaa...mula2 keje mestilah excited..blk malam2 buta pon tak pe especially time bujang...blk pon bukan buat aperr...lepak sorang2...sembang ngan dinding......drp blk awal ngan tak buat apa..baik aku lepak kat kilang...ye dak???
Skg nie aku rasa cam dah penat...everyday is urgent..semua bende nak kene rush....silap sket kene balun...aku rasa takde yg tak urgent.....Super Urgent..Top Urgent...Super Top Urgent...Urgent....hishh...klu nak setel pon...kene pilih yg urgent but less important...pening...pening...Tu yg lama2 jd penat tu...and make me think to change profession..Engineer turn to Teacher...Bleh ker????difficut to decide..................
Lets move to history::......................
Dulu..penah cikgu add math aku cakap...."why you are not believe in yourself??i believe in you...you should believe its more"..nie bile aku ckp kat dia aku tak confident nak dapat distinction dlm Add Maths..but well...aku sucsess jgk and got A2. Today...its happened again..im not believe in myself...dont think can retire as an engineer...the worst is..thought im not born to be an engineer...is it true??? Ermm......sometimes we DON'T EVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING WHO WE ARE. Don't apologize for being smart, being strong, for looking like you look, thinking what you think, feeling how you feel. Don't waste our time worrying about what other people say or do. Just be strong, and be the woman we're meant to be.
Well.....aku rasa its better for me ...to explain what is the actual problem i faced. By refer to the profile...im 27 yrs...married and now working as Manufacturing Engineer kat salah sebuah Multinational Company kat Kulim Hi-Tech Park. dah 4 yrs++ aku keje dlm bidang nie and dah 3 kilang aku keje and kat sini la yg plg lama...2yrs++...Gaji pon ok laaa....agak mewah...but Its not easy to be a woman engineer especially bila directly involved dengan product and production (yield and quality laa)..Aku rasa requirement dia ...tahan kene maki.....and luv to work under pressure...hahaha...1st day aku report duty kat situ..i've told that im the only women work as manufacturing engineer and will work together with another 20++ man engineer and around 30++ technician which also a guy. Errkk..masa tu aku dah rasa takut...rasa cam pasni aku mesti kene buli...!st time aku jumpe engineering manager..the last sentence he said before release aku " here..you need to work as others....no skin..no race..no genders..everybody must give fully support with full capacity....you must proof to others that you can do it...you are the only girl"fuhh...kecut perut aku...high expectation......
Ok...let move...after 2yrs++ (total 4yrs++) aku dah mula rasa aku tak sesuai jd engineer...yelaa...mula2 keje mestilah excited..blk malam2 buta pon tak pe especially time bujang...blk pon bukan buat aperr...lepak sorang2...sembang ngan dinding......drp blk awal ngan tak buat apa..baik aku lepak kat kilang...ye dak???
Skg nie aku rasa cam dah penat...everyday is urgent..semua bende nak kene rush....silap sket kene balun...aku rasa takde yg tak urgent.....Super Urgent..Top Urgent...Super Top Urgent...Urgent....hishh...klu nak setel pon...kene pilih yg urgent but less important...pening...pening...Tu yg lama2 jd penat tu...and make me think to change profession..Engineer turn to Teacher...Bleh ker????difficut to decide..................
Lets move to history::......................
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Just drop it down...
Part 1: On the Outside
Name : Suhaini Sudin
Date of Birth : 28th September 1980
Current Status : Married
Eye Colour : Dark brown
Hair Colour : Originally black
Righty or Lefty : Righty
Zodiac Sign : Libra
Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage : 3/4 Melayu + 1/4 Siamese
Your Fear : To have a lost - Cant think how im going to live thru the day
Your Weakness: My bad tempered/kureng sabar
Your Perfect Pizza : Pizza Hawaian Chicken
Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : Bleh tak ambik mc hari nie...
Your bedtime : Around 12 midnite
Your most missed memory : My day when i was a student
Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Coke
McDees or Burger King : McD
Single or Group Dates : Single
Adidas or Nike : Nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea : Tea Ais
Chocolate or Vanilla : Chocolate
Cappucino or Coffee : Cappucino
Part 5: Do You…
Smoke : Nope
Curse : Selalu...especially bile rasa cam nak kene buli...especially time NPI..
Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : Nope. Never.
Gone to the mall : Before misscarriage....skg pon still nak pegi tp tak brani nak jalan2 sangat
Been on stage : Nope
Eaten sushi : Skali jer try 2thn lepas...Tak suka..
Dyed your hair : Never
Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game : Errkkk....
Changed who you were to fit in : No
Part 8 : Marrriage
Age you’re hoping to be married : 25
Part 9: In A Guy/Girl
Best Eye colour : Dark brown
Hair colour : Black + dark brown
Short or long hair : Long
Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago : checked my Email...before i go for lunch and training again at 1.30pm
1 hour ago : Ronda kat production line lepas 2 hr kat kulim golf for FMEA training...saja tunjuk muka
1 month ago : Shopping....looking for new blouse at modern mum
Part 11: Finish The Sentence
I love : my family
I feel : want to pregnant again this week
I hate : to wait
I hide : Ermm.....mana bleh gtau
I miss : My home...Terengganu
I need : to have my own house...and be the 1st lady
Name : Suhaini Sudin
Date of Birth : 28th September 1980
Current Status : Married
Eye Colour : Dark brown
Hair Colour : Originally black
Righty or Lefty : Righty
Zodiac Sign : Libra
Part 2: On the Inside
Your Heritage : 3/4 Melayu + 1/4 Siamese
Your Fear : To have a lost - Cant think how im going to live thru the day
Your Weakness: My bad tempered/kureng sabar
Your Perfect Pizza : Pizza Hawaian Chicken
Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up : Bleh tak ambik mc hari nie...
Your bedtime : Around 12 midnite
Your most missed memory : My day when i was a student
Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke : Coke
McDees or Burger King : McD
Single or Group Dates : Single
Adidas or Nike : Nike
Lipton Tea or Nestea : Tea Ais
Chocolate or Vanilla : Chocolate
Cappucino or Coffee : Cappucino
Part 5: Do You…
Smoke : Nope
Curse : Selalu...especially bile rasa cam nak kene buli...especially time NPI..
Part 6: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol : Nope. Never.
Gone to the mall : Before misscarriage....skg pon still nak pegi tp tak brani nak jalan2 sangat
Been on stage : Nope
Eaten sushi : Skali jer try 2thn lepas...Tak suka..
Dyed your hair : Never
Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game : Errkkk....
Changed who you were to fit in : No
Part 8 : Marrriage
Age you’re hoping to be married : 25
Part 9: In A Guy/Girl
Best Eye colour : Dark brown
Hair colour : Black + dark brown
Short or long hair : Long
Part 10: What Were You Doing?
1 minute ago : checked my Email...before i go for lunch and training again at 1.30pm
1 hour ago : Ronda kat production line lepas 2 hr kat kulim golf for FMEA training...saja tunjuk muka
1 month ago : Shopping....looking for new blouse at modern mum
Part 11: Finish The Sentence
I love : my family
I feel : want to pregnant again this week
I hate : to wait
I hide : Ermm.....mana bleh gtau
I miss : My home...Terengganu
I need : to have my own house...and be the 1st lady
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Aku Redha.................
28May07 our 2nd anniversary~ the day finally come when i was confirmed 5 weeks pregnant. There's nothing to say except syukur pada Allah yg maha kuasa. After 2 years with full of pray, we got what we want and we hope. This told us that we are perfect as a woman...and man....I start to read book about pregnancy...start to receive "congratulation" from frens. I start to think of the name for the baby....never feel like this before.Im the happiest woman in the world. I start to read Surah Luqman, surah Maryam , surah yusuf , surah taubah, surah yasin....to have a child with full of perfection.
6July07 ~ My pregnancy is 11 weeks now. Petang tu aku rasa something is not right.The brown red bleeding. Aku call mak kat kampung and katanya..kadang2 biasa jer tu....lega
8July07 ~ aku sekali lagi bleeding. Sikit. Cepat aku ajak abang ke klinik. Aku berdebar sepanjang jalan...Pray for the things that i also dont know. Ask abang to drop at Maternity specialist. After told that i have a little bleeding...he scan to see the baby...
I heard the words that no woman wants to hear -- “I can’t find a fetal heartbeat.” Then, it hit me. I was having a miscarriage????It’s enough to send me screaming into the night.
I cant sleep. Try not to believe what doc said. Abang ajak ke klinik venka for confirmation and still ajak ke klinik kesihatan for registration. At first aku refused...then with the hope what the doc said is wrong...aku agree to register 1st but aku dah tak confident dengan Doc venka. Aku ajak abang terus ker Bagan specialist lepas registration. He said..OK...
9July07 ~ pagi tu dengan mood aku yg tak berapa betul...aku ke klinik.. as usual..everything is slow and lembab. Aku rasa darah aku naik sampai ke kepala dengan procedure klinik yg tak systematic...normall la gomen....lepas 3 jam lebih kat situ....kitorang pegi makan then trus ke bagan specialist....
Its 1pm...doc pon nak makan jugak...we wait untill 2pm...then jumpe Dr. Fawziah Tan sri ishak, consultant of Obstetrician and Gynecologist. skali lagi aku di scan.....tak nampak sangat...then 2nd time she want to scan from below....What the doc said before is correct. No heartbeat found. This is call miss abortion. She ask to go thru D&C for cleaning.
The loss of your unborn child.
Whether your loss was yesterday, last month, or last year...your sadness is as much a fact of life for you today, as the sun rising each morning.
And whether your pregnancy was planned for or not...whether you have a lifelong partner, or your relationship has soured...this is not what you expected.
There are so many confused thoughts and overwhelming feelings battling inside me, it’s hard to decide which pain to deal with first.
The mental and emotional anguish...or the empty ache of my body.
And well-meaning friends and family...perhaps even my partner...aren’t exactly helping when they murmur things like...
“It was God’s will.”
“Think how much worse you would feel if it had actually been born.”
Or my personal favorite...
“At least you weren’t very far along.”
When I told family and friends about our loss, I was surprised to learn how many other women and couples had also experienced a miscarriage. I found some comfort knowing that we were not alone. Most encouraging, I spoke to many people who had successful pregnancies after their loss.
I discovered that miscarriage is a commonly shared secret experience -- like menstruation, sex, pregnancy, labor and menopause -- among women. Or women may only discuss their loss with other women who have experienced it.
The best words of comfort and advice came from the nurse who cared for me the day my water broke. After the doctor confirmed that my worst fears were true, the nurse told me that she, too, had miscarried. She said, “You are going to cry and grieve, and it will surprise you that it will take a month before your body won’t feel pregnant anymore. But you will feel better, and someday you will become pregnant again. It won’t be easy but you’ll get through it.”
Her words would keep coming back to me over the following weeks. She seemed to have prophesied many of the physical and emotional changes I went through. I experienced a sadness that surprised me; the physical changes my body was slow to shed reminded me of my loss.
What i Hope for today and tomorrow, akan dimurahkan rezeki kami utk menimang cahaya mata...Semoga Allah murahkan rezeki kami. For the things happened....Aku Redha.........
6July07 ~ My pregnancy is 11 weeks now. Petang tu aku rasa something is not right.The brown red bleeding. Aku call mak kat kampung and katanya..kadang2 biasa jer tu....lega
8July07 ~ aku sekali lagi bleeding. Sikit. Cepat aku ajak abang ke klinik. Aku berdebar sepanjang jalan...Pray for the things that i also dont know. Ask abang to drop at Maternity specialist. After told that i have a little bleeding...he scan to see the baby...
I heard the words that no woman wants to hear -- “I can’t find a fetal heartbeat.” Then, it hit me. I was having a miscarriage????It’s enough to send me screaming into the night.
I cant sleep. Try not to believe what doc said. Abang ajak ke klinik venka for confirmation and still ajak ke klinik kesihatan for registration. At first aku refused...then with the hope what the doc said is wrong...aku agree to register 1st but aku dah tak confident dengan Doc venka. Aku ajak abang terus ker Bagan specialist lepas registration. He said..OK...
9July07 ~ pagi tu dengan mood aku yg tak berapa betul...aku ke klinik.. as usual..everything is slow and lembab. Aku rasa darah aku naik sampai ke kepala dengan procedure klinik yg tak systematic...normall la gomen....lepas 3 jam lebih kat situ....kitorang pegi makan then trus ke bagan specialist....
Its 1pm...doc pon nak makan jugak...we wait untill 2pm...then jumpe Dr. Fawziah Tan sri ishak, consultant of Obstetrician and Gynecologist. skali lagi aku di scan.....tak nampak sangat...then 2nd time she want to scan from below....What the doc said before is correct. No heartbeat found. This is call miss abortion. She ask to go thru D&C for cleaning.
The loss of your unborn child.
Whether your loss was yesterday, last month, or last year...your sadness is as much a fact of life for you today, as the sun rising each morning.
And whether your pregnancy was planned for or not...whether you have a lifelong partner, or your relationship has soured...this is not what you expected.
There are so many confused thoughts and overwhelming feelings battling inside me, it’s hard to decide which pain to deal with first.
The mental and emotional anguish...or the empty ache of my body.
And well-meaning friends and family...perhaps even my partner...aren’t exactly helping when they murmur things like...
“It was God’s will.”
“Think how much worse you would feel if it had actually been born.”
Or my personal favorite...
“At least you weren’t very far along.”
When I told family and friends about our loss, I was surprised to learn how many other women and couples had also experienced a miscarriage. I found some comfort knowing that we were not alone. Most encouraging, I spoke to many people who had successful pregnancies after their loss.
I discovered that miscarriage is a commonly shared secret experience -- like menstruation, sex, pregnancy, labor and menopause -- among women. Or women may only discuss their loss with other women who have experienced it.
The best words of comfort and advice came from the nurse who cared for me the day my water broke. After the doctor confirmed that my worst fears were true, the nurse told me that she, too, had miscarried. She said, “You are going to cry and grieve, and it will surprise you that it will take a month before your body won’t feel pregnant anymore. But you will feel better, and someday you will become pregnant again. It won’t be easy but you’ll get through it.”
Her words would keep coming back to me over the following weeks. She seemed to have prophesied many of the physical and emotional changes I went through. I experienced a sadness that surprised me; the physical changes my body was slow to shed reminded me of my loss.
What i Hope for today and tomorrow, akan dimurahkan rezeki kami utk menimang cahaya mata...Semoga Allah murahkan rezeki kami. For the things happened....Aku Redha.........
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